EastEnders: It's All Very Dallas

Dipping into EastEnders recently - I gave up full time viewing when Claudette was killed off then miraculously rose from the dead like Jesus - I must say it's all become very Americanized, on a par with Dallas and Dynasty than the earthy, gritty EastEnders I used to know.

So we've perma scowling Max running around a hospital trying to bump off Jane, who once again finds herself in a coma. She should put that on her CV.

Meanwhile Dot is rallying the troops, once again reminding us of the war spirit that got London thru the Blitz. Do none of them have any jobs to go to?

During the restaurant fire, most of the cast - who are now so clearly used to disasters happening on their doorstep once a week - just stood around in a straight line as if waiting for a bus, while loved ones were supposedly trapped inside fighting for their lives.

The only characters with any genuine energy are Linda Carter and the new chav family. The old woman whose hubby shot Jonny is so slow, you can make a cup of tea in between her pauses. Was her last job doing Pinter?

For the last 15 years Albert Square has been set on planet Mars, and judging by recent efforts it isn't returning to planet Earth any time soon. The whole show smacks of exhaustion: the writers and directors are just going through the motions now.

Bring back Arthur Fowler, that's what I say!